with money that I didn’t have in the first place and I feel like crap for it.
I should feel great for not spending $3,000 that I could not cover. But I don’t feel great. I feel like crap. Crud. Wallowing in my self-pity.
Other titles running through my mind:
- Being an adult is hard sometimes
- Super bummed but didn’t charge $3,000+
- Feel such guilt. But hey I didn’t blow it!
- Not spending $3,000+ I didn’t have
- Listened to my gut. Didn’t succumb to spending $3,000 on my Credit Card
See, I got this great last minute idea to go here:
Salem, Massachusetts – Halloween Capital of the World.
I made the decision based on quite a few valid personal reasons like a significant birthday, child’s final year in high school, and other great personal reasons to remain private (but they were really valid reasons to me). < All part of the somewhat irrational brain (cuz I wanted to spend $ I didn’t have) rationalizing the situation to make it okay.
(I’m really good at rationalizing anything)
However, what comes with a last-minute hyped up holiday trip is exorbitant prices.
- The flight, reasonable.
- Added luxuries I desire for a long flight, costly.
- Then there is parking my car at the airport fee.
- The accommodations, expensive Although, I was pretty lucky to score such a place.
- Then the 11% room fee.
- Shuttle or Lyft to and from the airport, okay. But getting back to the airport would have cost extra due to an very early morning flight out.
- The tarot card reading, the seance, the Witch Pix photo shoot, the entrance fees to everything we wanted to do, the Haunted and Essex street fairs, the psychic fairs.
- The eating.
The trip would have easily costs me $3,500 – $4,000. I mean Salem, MA during Halloween is a hyper-consumer place. Spend, spend, spend!
How it went down:
Called a gazillion places. Staying in a historical place was important to me.
Fare-locked potential airfare plans. To give me 3 days to decide if I wanted to do this.
Made a purchase to an entertainment show I wanted to see.
Finally receive confirmation for time off.
Made the room reservation. Sucked my breath in with the price when booking said reservation.
Mind you my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE with this planning. Yes, no. Yes, no.
Later that night, tell myself we can’t go. “What’s the one fundamental rule I am breaking?” Answer, I am using the credit card without having the money to pay it off right away.
I was getting super nervous about charging so much. Airfare and the room together were at the max I wanted to spend.
Slept on it all before I cancelled.
Morning, decide we are still going.
Look at tons of stuff to do and put together a tentative agenda to figure out what entertainment fees I need to make.
My gut feelings are not screaming at me to listen and not make this trip due because I was throwing myself into a financially vulnerable position charging money I didn’t have or a plan on how I was going to pay it off. Reminding me that I don’t have back up support if I fail to pay and that I need to be a role model to my child. That I don’t have anymore room for debt in my budget spreadsheet.
I go home to figure out potential bus/train ride from Boston to Salem. Look at other transportation options. The fares…
24 hour deadline to cancel airfare looms that evening. I get really nervous. Freak out. Cancel minutes before it expires.
Break news we can’t go.
I cried for not keeping my plans, for trying to make this happen in the first place, and because it’s hard doing the right thing that went with the financial values I am trying to instill.
What would you have done?
Really I do want a consensus on this emotional plan. Did I make the right choice canceling? Financially, yes I did. It’s clear cut. Emotionally, I am not convinced.
Sadly this story isn’t over because my room reservations have not been cancelled yet. I have until Sunday to cancel. Itchy fingers to rebook a flight.
ETA: It’s over, I cancelled. All is cancelled. Not going.
Tell me to cancel it.
I’ll lose money on the show if I don’t go. But I am going to send the tickets to my aunt and uncle. Hopefully they will use them or have friends that can. Why don’t I cut costs and stay with family? Because they are a distance the other direction. I want them to come visit me in Salem.
This journey of getting out of debt sucks. Debt has always been a twisted comfort. I am not convinced yet that turning things around will work (save for it, go and not be left with debt). Weird right?
But apparently there is still hope for me. I kind of believe saving for something will work or I wouldn’t have listened to my gut. My gut has always been right.
- Shaved a few dollars from some categories and created a travel fund category to pay for a trip up front next time.